A holiday to get busy

While large countries like India and China are trying to slow their population growth, even largerCalendar
countries like Canada and Russia are trying to increase theirs. Canada is doing it in three ways: (1) offering relatively easy immigration; (2) giving child tax credits and other incentives to parents; and (3) getting couples aroused by allowing nudity on TV. Russia is doing it by rewarding couples who have more than one child and, in at least one region, giving couples extra time to get busy.

A Russian region of Ulyanovsk has found
a novel way to fight the nation’s birth-rate crisis: It has declared
Sept. 12 the Day of Conception and for the third year running is giving
couples time off from work to procreate.

The hope is for a brood of babies exactly nine months
later on Russia’s national day. Couples who "give birth to a patriot"
during the June 12 festivities win money, cars, refrigerators and other

Ulyanovsk, about 550 miles east of Moscow, has held
similar contests since 2005. Since then, the number of competitors, and
the number of babies born to them, has been on the rise.

As a man, I like the idea of a special day on which my wife would not, under any circumstances, have a headache. But sex is usually best when it’s spontaneous, not when you and your friends are counting down the days.

Yuri: "Hey Boris, today is Sept. 11. You know what that means?"

Boris: "Of course I do. It means that Olga is going to have to put out tomorrow."

The next night …

Yuri: "Boris, what are you doing sleeping on the lawn? Don’t you know it’s Sept. 12?"

Boris: "Of course I do. I asked Olga if she was going to put out — and she put me out."

If you enjoyed this piece, you'll love Melvin's novel Bala Takes the Plunge, available in North America through Amazon.com and McNallyRobinson.com You can also find it at major bookstores in India and Sri Lanka or online at FlipKart, IndiaPlaza, FriendsofBooks or other sites. A number of readers have written reviews of the novel. An excerpt of the novel can be read here.


  1. Why not just move some of our excess population into russia, europe, canada et al?

  2. Mosilager wrote:
    >>Why not just move some of our excess population into russia, europe, canada et al?
    Yeah, if we could only teach them to speak Russian and bleach their skin.

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