Time to work on that upper face

Having trouble attracting women? Here’s some advice: Put yourChimp
head in a vise. With a compressed upper face, you’ll have to beat off the women with a stick.

A recent study of the skulls of human ancestors and modern humans
finds that women, and thereby, evolution, selected for males with
relatively short upper faces. The region between the brow and the
upper-lip is scrunched proportionately to the overall size of their

Among the men who fit the bill: Will Smith and Brad Pitt.

In a past study, researchers found a similar facial pattern in chimpanzees, with males having relatively shorter and broader faces compared with females, controlling for body size. [Link]

Ah, that explains why my wife has no picture of me on the wall, but a rather large one of a chimp.

I can just see it now: Somebody’s going to be selling a facial scrunching exercise video: "Guys, do you want to be more attractive to women? Let me show you how. It takes only five minutes a day. Just stand in front of a mirror and try to touch your eyebrows with your upper lip. Trust me, it has worked for Will Smith, Brad Pitt and Chippy the Chimpanzee — and it can work for you too."

If you enjoyed this piece, you'll love Melvin's novel Bala Takes the Plunge, available in North America through Amazon.com and McNallyRobinson.com You can also find it at major bookstores in India and Sri Lanka or online at FlipKart, IndiaPlaza, FriendsofBooks or other sites. A number of readers have written reviews of the novel. An excerpt of the novel can be read here.

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