Matrimonial ads are for married people too

Even if you're married, you ought to read matrimonial ads. Not only are they entertaining, they may alsoMatrimonial
make you feel good about the person you married. Here are some actual excerpts from Indian matrimonial ads on the Internet:

His body is single too: “I live with my parents in parents owned house. My
family status is upper middle class. … My face colour is light dark. I have
muscular/single body.”

Don’t tell your husband: “I believe in simple
living and high thinking. I am looking for a girl married unmarried no matters
but should be simple and co-operative. If any body interested contact
me.”

She’ll be your Shakespeare: “The world isn't really that big after
all. Why then oh why are thee hiding from me? Are you not in ardent search of me
as I am of you? Don't you think it's high time we lit up each other's lives with
love? – after all, you – gazing at your P.C. this very moment underneath this
same big starry blue sky & I – have been Heavenly made for each
other.”

Don’t worry, she’s no career woman: “We parents are placing this
profile for our daughter. … She has excelled in her academic and professional
career as an engineer, yet she is not career oriented. She likes to focus on
helping others towards better health and spiritual growth through yoga
teachings.”

He’ll look after you well: “Very good in looking. Very
enthusiastic. Music lover. Helping tendency. Good earning. … I am looking for
a fair homely educated girl. Employment – no bar. Should be a Hindu religion
girl with ample belief in God.”

An English
Expert:
“I'm medium in built, fair and good looking. I'm very kind, helpfull,
tolarative, understandable and foreseeking. I've passed my A/L in Science. …
I've an excellent English knowledge.”

Girls and ladies welcome: “I am a tall
handsome fair 29 year old guy, looking for a girl/lady with human values,
loyalty, faithfulness, residing at UK, USA, Canada. Girls/women looking for a
long honest relationship are welcomed.”

He’ll set you free: “What I want in
a girl is outer and inner beauty. I want to give her freedom. I’m a free man,
completely free, so I want her to be free, though she may swim in the love of my
heart.”


He know his music:
“I love to go hard in life. I love music and
watching BBC and Punjabi songs and Janifer Lopaz songs.”


Excuse her, if
you live in the East:
“Physically, I would consider myself to be attractive,
well-maintained and friendly. … I am looking for someone well-educated, mature,
compassionate and residing in UK or US. I am well balanced in values, both
eastern and western. Guys residing in India, Singapore and Malaysia, please
excuse.”


She’s neither Aishwarya nor plain Jane:
“I'm neither tall nor
short, neither fat nor skinny, neither light nor dark. Let's put it this way, I
may not look like Aishwarya Rai, but I know how to carry myself well – in a
natural and attractive manner.”


She’ll mow the lawn:
“This profile is for
my daughter. Her qualification are Bsc., M.A, LLB and nowadays preparing for
PCS-J mains. She is also good in doing all type of household work as well as
outside work.”


She’ll give you lovable surprises:
“I am looking for
someone financially sound so that I do not need to work when it comes to raising
and nurturing babies. I want my babies to grow in front of my eyes. I am a type
of person who likes to give lovable surprises now and then. I want that my life
partner love me so much that we forget any pains of our life by being in each
other's arm. He should be able to forget his tiredness with my love and my
loving smile.”


Applications are now being accepted:
“I’m good looking,
honest and religious. So I'm looking same or much more good qualities in my life
partner. Anyone who is serious about this matter may apply with complete bio
data.”


He values the fragrance:
“Well, about myself, I'm a matured, but
fun loving and caring person, basically an extrovert. Have a modern touch to my
life, but still value the traditional fragrance of our culture. Very much
naughty with friends and family. They all love me a lot.”

If you enjoyed this piece, you'll love Melvin's novel Bala Takes the Plunge, available in North America through Amazon.com and McNallyRobinson.com You can also find it at major bookstores in India and Sri Lanka or online at FlipKart, IndiaPlaza, FriendsofBooks or other sites. A number of readers have written reviews of the novel. An excerpt of the novel can be read here.

Comments

  1. And they have online handles like, silly_me, dumbo, jumbo, smiley_face, tall_guy, looking_for_love and a whole lot of scary ones.

  2. Yeah, Sowmya, I just saw one that was something like “Ineedahusband@yahoo.com.”

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