Philadelphia, a homely, thongless city

Are people in some cities more attractive than people in others? You wouldn’t think so, but that didn’tThong
stop Travel and Leisure magazine from trying to rank them.

Of the 25 major American cities ranked by citizen attractiveness, Philadelphia finished dead-last.

According to 60,000 respondents to the magazine’s online survey,
Philadelphians are slightly more repulsive than Washingtonians (24),
Dallasites (23) and San Antonions (22) but way uglier than Miamians
(1), San Diegoans (2) and Charlestonians (3). [Link]

Way uglier? Apparently, everyone in Miami resembles Halle Berry, while everyone in Philadelphia resembles a blackberry. (No, not the electronic kind.)

"This is the city of Fabian and Frankie Avalon and Grace Kelly," said
City Councilman Frank DiCicco. "Are they saying we’ve morphed into ugly
people over the last few decades? Somebody’s drinking something out
there."

DiCicco took issue with Travel and Leisure ranking Miami’s beautiful people No. 1.

"My oldest son, the dentist, had a condo in Miami so I’ve been to South Beach a few times," he said.

"Most people are walking around in thongs so everybody looks good
there. [Link]

Most people are walking around in thongs? I don’t know if I’d like that. Some people just shouldn’t put their thang in a thong.

Perhaps Philadelphia should have a "Thong Day" and ask all residents to slip into one. Then we’d know for sure how they compare to Miamians. Just don’t get your hopes up, Philadelphians. It’s quite possible that your best-looking resident in a thong is Andy Reid.

Photo credit: Anthony Grimley

If you enjoyed this piece, you'll love Melvin's novel Bala Takes the Plunge, available in North America through Amazon.com and McNallyRobinson.com You can also find it at major bookstores in India and Sri Lanka or online at FlipKart, IndiaPlaza, FriendsofBooks or other sites. A number of readers have written reviews of the novel. An excerpt of the novel can be read here.

Comments

  1. The thong picture, while cringe worthy, added much to the story; however that last picture of Andy Reid almost made me lose my breakfast. You’re hilarious, I love your blog.

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