Forgery 101: Don’t use Sellotape!

If you’re going to make counterfeit money — and I’m not suggesting that you do — try to make it look likeMoney
real money. Don’t do what a New Zealand woman did.

A Palmerston North woman out shoe shopping has been caught flat-footed after
allegedly trying to pass off a crudely forged $100 bill as genuine currency.

Staff at Number 1 Shoe Warehouse phoned police on Friday  when they realised the note handed  to them was fake. [Link]

It was such a bad forgery that a blind man holding a cup on the street corner refused to accept it.

Another three $100 prints – each  with one blank side – and a fake $50  bill were later allegedly found in the  woman’s purse.

The woman, 30, was to appear in  court today charged with using a  forged document.

Mr
Affleck said the notes – made of paper using a colour photocopier,
adhesive and Sellotape – were an "extremely poor attempt" at
counterfeit.

"Basically they’ve just stuck two pieces of paper
together and got some Sellotape to make the transparent panels," he
said. "It’s a pretty crude method and you can tell it’s fake as soon as
you touch it." [Link]

Sellotape? Even I know better than to use Sellotape. If you want to do it right, you have to use Scotch Tape!

I wonder how the interrogation went.

Cop: "Where did you learn to make forged money like this?"

Woman: "FU."

Cop: "Hey, you’d better watch it! You’re in big enough trouble already."

Woman: "FU — that’s where I learned it. Forgery University."

Cop: "Oh, I see. Did you graduate?"

Woman: "No, they kicked me out in my second year. Didn’t like the money I used to pay the tuition."

Photo by Taniwhaiti

If you enjoyed this piece, you'll love Melvin's novel Bala Takes the Plunge, available in North America through Amazon.com and McNallyRobinson.com You can also find it at major bookstores in India and Sri Lanka or online at FlipKart, IndiaPlaza, FriendsofBooks or other sites. A number of readers have written reviews of the novel. An excerpt of the novel can be read here.

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