The bride wore orange and barked at the groom

Before Aishwarya Rai married fellow Bollywood actor Abhishek Bachchan, she married a tree, followingDogwed_2
the advice of astrologers and thus avoiding a curse. The groom was covered in bark, but at least "he" didn’t bark.  P. Selvakumar, a 33-year-old Indian man, wasn’t so lucky.

An Indian man has married a female dog, believing the union will help him atone
for stoning two other dogs to death.

P Selvakumar, 33, said he had been cursed since the killings, suffering
paralysis and a loss of hearing.

The wedding took place at a Hindu temple in Tamil Nadu state. The "bride"
wore an orange sari with a flower garland and was fed a bun to celebrate. [Link]

A bun? What a cheapskate! Is he trying to bring another curse upon him? Surely he could have fed her some Indian sweets, instead of a measly bun. Perhaps he’s upset at her. Perhaps he was hoping he would receive some dowry. A few bones or at least a dead rat.

Crowds cheered the newly-weds at the end of the ceremony in Sivaganga
district, about 50km (30 miles) east of the city of Madurai.

The "bride", who is called Selvi, was led to the temple in Manamudurai
wearing a sari before vows were exchanged in a traditional Hindu ceremony. [Link]

Vows were exchanged? No, those weren’t vows. Those were bow-wows.

A relative of the groom who attended the wedding said he hoped Mr Selvakumar
would now be cured.

"Fifteen years back Selvakumar was physically fit. But, once he attacked a
pair of dogs and thereafter Kumar could not move his limbs freely," the
relative, Ramu, told the BBC.

"He tried every cure for his ailment but could not be rid of his disability.

"On the advice of an astrologer and others, he decided to marry a bitch to
get cured. Then we arranged Selvakumar’s marriage with a bitch." [Link]

If I were Selvakumar, I’d avoid calling my new wife a bitch. I’d avoid saying things like "I can’t stand the bitch" or "The bitch refuses to do any cooking" or "The bitch keeps asking me to do it human-style."

You have to wonder what Selvakumar’s neighbors are saying.

Neighbor: "Have you seen Selvakumar’s new wife? She’s a dog."

Neighbor’s friend: "That ugly, huh?"

Neighbor: "No, she’s a cute dog, actually. This is another case of Beauty and the Beast."

If you enjoyed this piece, you'll love Melvin's novel Bala Takes the Plunge, available in North America through and You can also find it at major bookstores in India and Sri Lanka or online at FlipKart, IndiaPlaza, FriendsofBooks or other sites. A number of readers have written reviews of the novel. An excerpt of the novel can be read here.

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