Forget the bank, get your loot at Wal-Mart

Taking care of babies can be quite expensive. You can spend a fortune on all their needs. Sometimes youDiapers
feel like going to Wal-Mart, pulling out a gun and shouting: "Give me all your diapers and baby formula!"

WOOD RIVER, Illl. (AP) _ Prosecutors
in St. Clair County acccused two men Thursday of stealing diapers, baby
formula and toilet paper from the Wood River Wal-Mart and then leading
police on a high-speed chase.[Link]

A high-speed chase for diapers, formula and toilet paper? Was it really worth endangering the public?

Captain: "Officer, because of your pursuit, a school bus veered off the road, injuring dozens of children. Isn’t that true?"

Officer: "Yes, it’s true. But I did manage to recover the toilet paper."

 Forty-eight-year-old Laverne
Nicholson of Washington Park was charged with two felonies — retail
theft and aggravated fleeing from the police. Forty-eight-year-old
Materiel Lewis of East St. Louis was charged with felony retail theft. [Link]

Material Lewis. That’s an interesting name. If he’s asked to testify, would he be considered a "Material witness"? He’d be better off as a comedian, of course. He’d never run out of Material.

Wood
River Police Chief William Webber says one of the suspects flashed a
knife while trying to leave the store with the merchandise yesterday
afternoon. Police say the pair led them on a high-speed chase until a
flat tire stopped the suspects’ vehicle on Interstate 255. [Link]

The police must have caused the flat tire, probably using a spike strip. You have to pull out all the stops when you’re trying to capture diaper thieves.

It’s better to prevent such crimes, of course. That’s why Wal-Mart will soon be putting all its diapers next to the watches — inside a glass case.

Photo by Drewesque

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If you enjoyed this piece, you'll love Melvin's novel Bala Takes the Plunge, available in North America through Amazon.com and McNallyRobinson.com You can also find it at major bookstores in India and Sri Lanka or online at FlipKart, IndiaPlaza, FriendsofBooks or other sites. A number of readers have written reviews of the novel. An excerpt of the novel can be read here.

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