Taking care of babies can be quite expensive. You can spend a fortune on all their needs. Sometimes you
feel like going to Wal-Mart, pulling out a gun and shouting: "Give me all your diapers and baby formula!"
WOOD RIVER, Illl. (AP) _ Prosecutors
in St. Clair County acccused two men Thursday of stealing diapers, baby
formula and toilet paper from the Wood River Wal-Mart and then leading
police on a high-speed chase.[Link]
A high-speed chase for diapers, formula and toilet paper? Was it really worth endangering the public?
Captain: "Officer, because of your pursuit, a school bus veered off the road, injuring dozens of children. Isn’t that true?"
Officer: "Yes, it’s true. But I did manage to recover the toilet paper."
Nicholson of Washington Park was charged with two felonies — retail
theft and aggravated fleeing from the police. Forty-eight-year-old
Materiel Lewis of East St. Louis was charged with felony retail theft. [Link]
Material Lewis. That’s an interesting name. If he’s asked to testify, would he be considered a "Material witness"? He’d be better off as a comedian, of course. He’d never run out of Material.
River Police Chief William Webber says one of the suspects flashed a
knife while trying to leave the store with the merchandise yesterday
afternoon. Police say the pair led them on a high-speed chase until a
flat tire stopped the suspects’ vehicle on Interstate 255. [Link]
The police must have caused the flat tire, probably using a spike strip. You have to pull out all the stops when you’re trying to capture diaper thieves.
It’s better to prevent such crimes, of course. That’s why Wal-Mart will soon be putting all its diapers next to the watches — inside a glass case.
Photo by Drewesque