Losing the weight in 2008

One of my New Year’s resolutions is to lose weight and get into shape. It was my New Year’s resolutionWeight
last year too. And the year before. And the year before that. But this year, I’m really determined to do it. If you’re trying to lose weight too, here are some tips on dieting that may help you:

—You will not find anything
healthful in the vending machine. Even if the machine has something
healthful, you will not see it.

—If your snack gets stuck in the
vending machine, be thankful. You will burn a few calories shaking the
machine. And if the machine falls on you, you will probably
be thinner.

—Eating a lot of low-fat pies is a good way to get
high-fat thighs.

—It is better to count calories than to count
chins.

—Candy is not good for you, so stop flirting with
her.

—Limit your intake of dates and nuts, as well as your desire
to date nuts.

—You cannot eat just one piece of chocolate, unless
it’s the last piece in the country.

—Drinking three glasses of
water before every meal will help you lose weight, because you’ll burn a
lot of calories running to the bathroom. [Link]

The important thing is to think longterm. Small changes can produce big results. If you lose a pound every month from January to November, you’ll be able to pig out in December, gain 10 pounds, and still finish the year one pound lighter. By 2038, you will have lost 30 pounds, just in time to fit into that narrow rocking chair.

Photo by Gee-Kay

Get Melvin’s humor on Facebook

If you enjoyed this piece, you'll love Melvin's novel Bala Takes the Plunge, available in North America through Amazon.com and McNallyRobinson.com You can also find it at major bookstores in India and Sri Lanka or online at FlipKart, IndiaPlaza, FriendsofBooks or other sites. A number of readers have written reviews of the novel. An excerpt of the novel can be read here.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: