Poor Nasir — his family bled him dry

I just received an email from Nasir Khalifa. I don’t know him, but his subject line said "private message," so I just had to read it.

Greetings, Compliments of the day to you and your family. I am very sorry to embarrass you with this email
as I did not mean to intrude in your privacy if not for the peculiar situation I have found myself. I have contacted you
because of your resume as I believe you have what it takes to carry out the request I seek of you.

My resumé? How did you get hold of it, Nasir? Do you know someone in the human resources department at Victoria’s Secret? If so, please tell them I’m still available for the position of "lingerie model screener."

I am currently
suffering from a terminal disease called Hepatitis B and my doctors have informed me that I have a few months to live and I
want to try and do something special with my life now that the end is near. Before I was diagnosed with the disease I was a
very successful businessman who made a lot of money but also lived a very rough life filled with too much lust for
women and more money. In the course of my illness my family members have bled me dry of nearly all my possessions and abandoned me to my fate. I presently have no friend or family as I am all alone in this hospital.

Oh, you poor man. All alone in the hospital. Well, at least you’re in one of those modern hospitals that provide you with an internet connection. As long as you have the internet, my friend, you’re never alone. We’re there for you — and so is Victoria.

Luckily I have some money
totaling five million five hundred thousand us dollars that I had stashed away in a finance facility somewhere in Europe and I would be willing to donate all of it to charity. All I want is for a foundation to be set up in my name so I
would always be remembered for my good deeds in life after I pass on. If you are willing to assist you would get a
handsome percentage of the money and also a place in heaven as God would abundantly reward you.

Five million five hundred thousand us dollars? Wow, that’s a lot of money, and it sounds even bigger when you write it out. How smart of you to stash it in a finance facility! I’m a big believer in saving money in finance facilities.

Of course, I’ll help you set up a charitable foundation. It’s very thoughtful and kind of you. But I have a favor to ask of you: Can we call it the Nasir Khalifa and Melvin Durai Charitable Foundation? If you want, I’ll contribute some money to the foundation, as much as five thousand five hundred and fifty five Indian paisa.

Please get back
to me ASAP so I can give you more details.  nasirkhalifa@aim.com
Thanks and God bless you. Nasir Khalifa

God bless you too, Nasir. You’re a wonderful man, not just for setting up a charitable foundation, but also for making a reservation for me in heaven. I can’t wait to tell my mother.

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If you enjoyed this piece, you'll love Melvin's novel Bala Takes the Plunge, available in North America through Amazon.com and McNallyRobinson.com You can also find it at major bookstores in India and Sri Lanka or online at FlipKart, IndiaPlaza, FriendsofBooks or other sites. A number of readers have written reviews of the novel. An excerpt of the novel can be read here.

Comments

  1. Geoffrey Pearce says:

    Hahahaha, I just got a near identical e-mail, only it’s from Farouk Baza and the sum was 25,500,000 US Dollars and he was dieing of cancer.
    [quote]I am very sorry to embarrass you with this email as I did not mean to intrude in your privacy if not for the peculiar situation I have found myself. I have contacted you because I believe you have what it takes to carry out the request I seek of you. I am currently suffering from a terminal disease called CANCER and my doctors have informed me that I have a few months to live and I want to try and do something special with my life now that the end is near. Before I was diagnosed with the disease I was a very successful accountant who made a lot of money. In the course of my illness my family members have bled me dry of nearly all my possessions and abandoned me to my fate. I presently have no friend or family as I am all alone in this hospital. Luckily I have some money totaling Twenty five million five hundred thousand us dollars($25.5million) that I had stashed away in a finance facility somewhere in Europe and I would be willing to donate all of it to charity. All I want i s for a Thanks and God bless you. Farouk Baza[/quote]

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