Goodness gracious, I’ve won the lottery!

I don’t know how it happened, but I’ve won a lottery. I just got an email
from the desk of the viceDollars
president of International Promotions in the Prize
Awards Department of the Australian International Sweepstakes Lottery

You hereby have been approved a prize of US$1,000,000.00 (ONE MILLION
DOLLARS) in cash credit file ref: ILP/HW 47509/02 from the total cash prize
shared amongst eight lucky winners in this category. All participants were
selected through a computer balloting system drawn from One hundred thousand
E-mail addresses from Canada, Australia, United States, Asia, Europe, Middle
East and Africa as part of our international promotions program which is
conducted annually.

Wow, that’s fantastic.  I love the Australians. Such generous people. I have
only one question: Should I quit my job now or wait until I get the

This Lottery was promoted and sponsored by a conglomerate of some
multinational companies in Australia as part of their social responsibility to
the citizens in the communities where they have operational base.

I’ve always believed in social responsibility, especially the type of social responsibility that gives me one million bucks.

more your details(e-mail address) falls within our European representative
office in Amsterdam,Holland, as indicated in your play coupon and your prize of
US$1,000,000.00 will be released to you from our Australian regional branch
bureau in NIGERIA.

The money will be released from Nigeria? That’s
wonderful! I grew up in Africa, so this must be some kind of divine providence.
Did I mention that Australia and Nigeria are my favorite countries?

contact our Fiducial Agent, DR. Felix ( to file for your claim. Please quote your Date
of draw, Reference Number, Batch Number and Winning Number, which can be found
on the top-left corner of this message. Also, you should give in your telephone
number to help locate your file easily. For security reasons, we advice all
winners to keep this information confidential from the public until your claim
is processed and your prize has been released to you.

Of course I’ll keep it
confidential. I won’t tell a soul, except for my wife, children and extended family.
My wife is going to be so excited.

Me: "One million bucks, honey! And I
didn’t even have to buy a ticket!"

Malathi: "Are you sure it’s real?"

"Of course it’s real. Just look at the email address of their Fiducial Agent: Doesn’t that look real?"

Malathi: "Oh, I’m so
happy! I can’t wait to tell my relatives. I never told you this before, but some of them actually believed that marrying you would never
pay off."

Me: "That’s amazing!"

Malathi: "What’s amazing? That some of them thought you’d never be a success?"

Me: "No, that some of them thought I would."

Photo by tobym

If you enjoyed this piece, you'll love Melvin's novel Bala Takes the Plunge, available in North America through and You can also find it at major bookstores in India and Sri Lanka or online at FlipKart, IndiaPlaza, FriendsofBooks or other sites. A number of readers have written reviews of the novel. An excerpt of the novel can be read here.

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