Sarah Palin’s emails revealed

WASHINGTON – Hackers broke into the Yahoo! e-mail account that Republican vice presidential Palin
candidate Sarah Palin used for official business as Alaska's governor, revealing as evidence a few inconsequential personal messages she has received since John McCain selected her as his running mate. — Associated Press

Hi Honey,

I know you're very busy today, but I just have an important question: do I put the clothes in first or the detergent first? And is it okay to use the Spray ’n Wash on your Victoria's Secret thong?

Love you more than ice-fishing,


Dear Governor Palin,

I know you've been brushing up on your foreign policy, but Senator McCain wanted me to give you a few pointers, so the media doesn’t trip you up.

1. Russia is currently at war with Georgia. Whenever you get an opportunity, please express your solidarity with Governor Sonny Purdue.

2. If someone asks you about your thoughts on Africa, just say "Mugabe" and shake your head.

3. Africa is not a country – it’s a continent. Africa consists of a number of countries, such as South Africa, North Africa and West Africa.

4. People in Iran are known as Iranians, but people in Iraq are not Iraqians. They are “civilian casualties.”

6. People in Thailand speak Thai, but people in Iceland do not speak Ice. They speak Icelandian.

7. The president of Iran is Ahmadinejad. The preferred pronunciation is A-MAD-INJURER.

8. Libya has had only three leaders over the past 40 years: Gaddafi, Khadhafi and Qadhafi. The current leader is Qadhafi. His successor is expected to be Cadarfi.

9. People from Europe are not called Euros. They are called Europeans, a Greek term that, literally translated, means “slave to the Euro.”

10. Israel is our best friend. Please don’t tell Britain.

Hope that helps.

Ross McSwain

Hi Honey,

It's me again. Just had another question: Can the thong go in the dryer? Or should I try the microwave?

Love you more than mooseburgers,


Howdy Sarah,

You probly don’t remainder me, but I sitted behind you in twelf grade. Well, I just bin watching CNN and I nodded my head in total agreemint when Andersen Cooper said, “Guvnor Palin seems to have all the rite answers.” You always did have dem answers and all becoz of you the whole back row graduwated. Ain’t nobody gonna take that away from you.

Just want you to know that we all’ll be voting for you, even dem idjots who rejistered as demockrats.

You’re friend,


Hi Honey,

Sorry to keep disturbing you. Just had one more question: Is it okay to iron the thong? It looks a little wrinkled, even when I stretch it around my waist.

Love you more than snowmobiling,


Hey you Janey-come-lately,

How dare you try to steal Hillary’s supporters and use her very successful campaign to advance your own! She did not pave the way for undeserving female politicians like you. She paved the way for well-deserving female politicians such as Hillary Clinton, Hillary Rodham Clinton, and Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. Got that?


Hi Honey,

Last question: Will the Spray ’n Wash remove a burn mark?

Love you more than life itself,


If you enjoyed this piece, you'll love Melvin's novel Bala Takes the Plunge, available in North America through and You can also find it at major bookstores in India and Sri Lanka or online at FlipKart, IndiaPlaza, FriendsofBooks or other sites. A number of readers have written reviews of the novel. An excerpt of the novel can be read here.


  1. Brilliant!!!

  2. Amazing. Fabulous. Fanastic.
    I stumbled across your blog, and got hooked- having read through all the archives, now eagerly await u to post more 😀

  3. I have been reading your columns for quite a while. You simply rock.
    Keep it coming.

  4. So funny!

  5. 4. People in Iran are known as Iranians, but people in Iraq are not Iraqians. They are “civilian casualties.”
    6. People in Thailand speak Thai, but people in Iceland do not speak Ice. They speak Icelandian.

  6. Another hit! I rant, but you make more sense by poking fun. Excellent and a true gift.

  7. Of late I have been told to put some humor in my write-ups and you seem to be guiding me.

  8. Egyptian guy says:

    Lol. Don’t they use phones at all in Alaska!

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