Signs that you’re getting TOO cheap

The weak economy has forced many people to cut back on their spending, but some are going to Hair
extremes. Cheapskates, like Amy VanDeventer, are becoming even cheaper.

Before the economy tanked, she was still wearing
maternity clothes from her last pregnancy, clipping coupons and using
hand-me-downs to dress her daughters, ages 2 and 3. Now, she's
salvaging bagel scraps left on their plates for pizza toppings and
cutting lotion bottles in half so she can scrape out the last drops.

"I
was already cheap," said VanDeventer, a 36-year-old mortgage loan
underwriter from Broomfield, Colo. "Now I am neurotic about it."

If
you thought those cheapskate friends and relatives couldn't pinch
pennies any tighter, think again. The recession is making tightwads
like VanDeventer cut back even more. They're going way beyond
sharpening their coupon scissors, replacing already cheap store-brand
fabric softener with vinegar and even making their own detergent.
VanDeventer was drying her hair in front of a fan after her portable
hair dryer broke – until her friends bought her a new one. [Link]

It's okay to be somewhat cheap, but here are some signs that you're getting WAY TOO CHEAP:

1. You dry your hair in front of a fan.

2. You take a shower only once a week, whenever it rains.

3. You save money by cutting out coupons and putting them in the offering plate in church.

4. You don't shop at Goodwill until they have a 50% off sale.

5. You shake the vending machine before putting any money in it.

6. You rub scented candles in your armpits each morning.

7. You take a friend to McDonald's so you can share the small fries.

8. You shave with your sharpest kitchen knife.

9. You take a disguise to the grocery store, so you can have two shots at the samples.

10. You don't use hair gel, just a dab of mayonnaise.

11. You floss your teeth with your cat's hair.

12. You take a newspaper to the bathroom, but not just to read.

13. You make meatloaf without any meat, creating a family favorite called eatloaf.

14. You carry a 10-cent balloon in your wallet, just in case.

15. Whenever you leave comments on the Internet, you say, "That's just my one cent."


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If you enjoyed this piece, you'll love Melvin's novel Bala Takes the Plunge, available in North America through Amazon.com and McNallyRobinson.com You can also find it at major bookstores in India and Sri Lanka or online at FlipKart, IndiaPlaza, FriendsofBooks or other sites. A number of readers have written reviews of the novel. An excerpt of the novel can be read here.

Comments

  1. I like No. 3 & 11..

  2. Hahaha! A balloon just in case. Man, your blog is one helluva read.

  3. Funny as it gets!

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