Obama’s Ready to Serenade America Again

You’ve got to feel bad for the Republican Party. They’ve had a number of primaries and caucuses, HumorColumnalmost two dozen debates and countless other campaign events, but still haven’t found a presidential candidate who can sing as well as Barack Obama.

Mitt Romney has tried, treating supporters to his rendition of “America the Beautiful.” And much to his credit, when he was done singing, a large portion of the audience applauded, and the rest were quickly revived.

His supporters were quick to focus on the positives of his voice.

“We’ll save a lot of money if we elect Romney,” one supporter said. “The White House won’t need an Obama_singingexterminator.”

“We can get rid of a lot of pests,” another supporter agreed. “Just picture President Romney singing at a special State Dinner for Robert Mugabe and Bashar al-Assad.”

Romney has been criticized for putting his dog, Seamus, in a crate on the roof of his car during a family trip from Massachusetts to Ontario in 1983. But as a Romney supporter said, “He likes to sing while he drives, so he was just being kind to the dog.”

That might be true, but what about his poor wife and kids? Shouldn’t he have put them on the roof, too?

Better yet, if had strapped himself to the roof, he could have sung to his heart’s content.

Eight-year-old Josh Romney: “Mom, turn the radio up! I can still hear Dad singing.”

Ann Romney: “That’s not Dad singing, Josh. We just passed the Niagara Falls.”

Romney’s voice may seem like a minor flaw for a presidential candidate, but many voters want a president who can occasionally entertain them. Just look at Obama’s approval ratings –- they’ve soared every time he has sung a few notes in public, every time he has shown, with his silky smooth voice, that he’s not merely a man of substance.

This is, after all, the YouTube generation, and when people are busy hitting the ‘like’ and ‘share’ buttons on your singing video, they have no time for negative thoughts such as, “Hey, how come I don’t have a job?”

Singing may even be part of a presidential debate this fall, perhaps a debate moderated by Jim Lehrer of PBS.

Lehrer: “President Obama, we’ve done a lot of talking tonight, so I thought we could take a short break and ask you to sing something for us.”

Obama: “Thanks for the opportunity, Jim. I’d like to sing ‘Second Chance’ by Justin Bieber. … Give me a second chance, girl, a second chance. Give me a second chance, Ima be a better man.”

Lehrer: “That was great, President Obama, but I’m a little confused. Who’s Ima?”

Obama: “I’m not sure. Hold on a second while I tweet Justin.”

Lehrer: “Okay, while you’re doing that, let’s turn to Governor Romney. Would you … uh … like to sing something for us?”

Romney: “Sure, I’d …”

Lehrer: “Hang on, Governor Romney. … Members of the studio audience, please be advised that Governor Romney is about to sing. If you look toward the rear, on the right side, you will see a staircase that will take you to the roof. Please don’t rush. There’s enough room up there for everyone.”

If you enjoyed this piece, you'll love Melvin's novel Bala Takes the Plunge, available in North America through Amazon.com and McNallyRobinson.com You can also find it at major bookstores in India and Sri Lanka or online at FlipKart, IndiaPlaza, FriendsofBooks or other sites. A number of readers have written reviews of the novel. An excerpt of the novel can be read here.

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