Obama Leads Romney —– or does he?

A national Gallup/USA Today/Levitra Poll shows President Barack Obama with a 49 percent to 44 percent lead over Republican challenger Mitt Romney, with four percent of voters calling themselves “undecided” and three percent saying they are “undecided about being undecided.”

The undecideds could swing the election in favor of Romney, but only about 30 percent of them say they will likely cast their votes on Nov. 6 — the rest are undecided about that too.

The pollsters questioned 2,469 potential voters by phone, email, Facebook and Twitter, collecting information that showed voting preferences across an array of population segments. “It’s perhaps the most comprehensive poll ever,” said Gallup spokesman John Canter. “We even found out that President Obama has a five-point lead over Gov. Romney among young women who’ve had their tongues and eyebrows pierced. But his lead drops to just two points among young women who’ve had their eyebrows pierced, but not their tongues.”

Romney is in a dead heat with Obama among men in general, but Obama enjoys a comfortable eight-point lead among women, as well as an impressive 20-point lead among undecideds — those who haven’t made a decision about their gender. “If I feel like a woman on Nov. 6, I’m voting for Obama,” one eligible voter said. “If I feel like a man, well … all bets are off.”

Romney has a two-point lead among men who wear boxer shorts, but Obama has a one-point lead among men who wear briefs and a 25-point lead among men who wear thongs. Unfortunately for Obama, only eight respondents admitted wearing thong underwear, including three who offered to post pics on Facebook as proof.

“This is an important finding,” Canter said. “Everybody thought that Romney would have a brief campaign, but he’s turned out to be quite the boxer.”

Among women aged 18 to 30, Obama enjoys a 10-point lead over Romney. About 50 percent of young women who plan to vote for Obama said they “strongly agree” with the statement: “I believe that President Obama, over the next four years, will create millions of jobs for Americans and look cute while doing it.”

Men aged 50 to 64 favored Romney over Obama by a six-point margin, with 54 percent of them saying he’s better for the environment, 60 percent saying he’s better for the economy, and 99 percent saying he’s better for the 1 percent.

Among welfare recipients, Obama has a 60-point lead over Romney, with only 12 percent of them saying they will vote for the Republican candidate, though 7 percent say they might switch to Romney “if Obama creates too many jobs.”

Romney has a 40-point lead among voters who believe Obama was born in Kenya, a 55-point lead among voters who believe Osama bin Laden is still alive, and a 66-point lead among voters who believe Donald Trump’s hair is real.

Obama enjoys a 15-point lead among hyphenated Americans, including a 58-point cushion among Indian-Americans, a 56-point cushion among Pakistani-Americans, and a 57-point cushion among Indo-Pak-Americans.

Asked about the cushion, an Indian-American storekeeper in Jackson Heights, New York, said, “If President Obama wants a cushion, he can always come to us. We have sofa cushions, chair cushions, floor cushions … all types of cushions imported from India!”

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If you enjoyed this piece, you'll love Melvin's novel Bala Takes the Plunge, available in North America through Amazon.com and McNallyRobinson.com You can also find it at major bookstores in India and Sri Lanka or online at FlipKart, IndiaPlaza, FriendsofBooks or other sites. A number of readers have written reviews of the novel. An excerpt of the novel can be read here.

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